Kendall Jenner tried to cut up a cucumber and found herself in a pickle

We are writing in response to the latest episode of "The Kardashians,

in which one of your stars, a 26-year-old named Kendall Jenner, is struggling with basic kitchen skills.

To wit, she is unable to slice a cucumber.

As we are informed that Ms. Jenner is personally worth around $45 million,

we applaud her attempts to be a salt-of-the-earth regular person,

and not actually hire someone specifically for this singular kitchen duty.

After all, we are well aware that the rich and famous are diligent in their extensive use of cucumbers,

From placing them on the eyes to cut them into salads and sometimes throw them into running water.